Mr. Money Mustache (MMM) announced his divorced on his blog the other day. I bet his extreme frugality lead to the divorce. So let me pick it apart a bit.
Three leading causes for divorce:
- Financial problem/issues
- 69% of Divorce are initiated by women
- Of college educate women 90% initiate it.
- Mr & Mrs MMM are college educated
- They actual practice what the blogs advocates
With these facts and assumptions the story goes like this Mrs MMM was tired of the harsh financial constraints of Mr. MMM frugal lifestyle and decided she would be happier if she had more freedom to SPEND the money they have saved. It appears unlikely that infidelity was the cause since according to the MMM post they are still friendly and she took care of most of the divorce filing and work. And I know if my wife cheated on my I wouldn’t trust her with finances and vice versa.
Now human evolution plays a major part in Mrs MMM need to spend money. It is hard coded into her DNA and it is reinforced by hard biological facts. Mrs MMM is female, a girl, has a womb…. she didn’t choose her gender (shocking I know). And with this womb she has a disadvantage when it comes to scraping out food in primitive hunter gathering society. When a woman is pregnant, especially in later months, she becomes more dependent on others for food and protection; plus the 9 months after the baby is born both are virtually helps in terms of food and protection. So women have this need to consume resources ($$$) in order to fatten up for the up coming child since food may not be there as readily. Now this transfer of wealth in modern times happens early on in relationships. Men paying for dates, picking dates up, trips, etc. It’s in our genes and it manifests itself. Women have a need to consume resources ($$$). Mr. MMM was trying to conserve resources zealously. Mrs MMM needed to satiate her biological needs so she likely initiated the divorce to get her half and control of the resources.
If it were only man and wife then the divorce would mean little. Two adults would split resources and part ways. But there is a child involve which complicates matters. The reality is children with divorced parents do NOT do as well as parents that living together in the same home. Women get 90% or so of custody of the children and in this case Mrs. MMM has as well. But that doesn’t matter right cause they both love him and will be there…. right?? Well maybe but…. of the people in prison 70% came from homes with out fathers. Rapists, murderers, prostitutes, violent assaults, drug addicts all hit the 90% fatherless home range. All of the mass school shooters came from single mother households. Now that doesn’t mean that ALL child will end up there but there is a correlation here; high enough to suggest causation. Children don’t need visitation from their fathers. They need their fathers in their home.
So Mr. MMM frugality lead to the alienation of his wife’s needs. His blog and the cult followers (his words not mine) created a viscous cycle for him were he saved and skimp more than was necessary further frustrating his wife all for the quest of FIRE. The quest was bigger than the welfare of his family, the future of his progeny
Is it worth it? Would you sacrifice your marriage and your children for this? Or would you choose to continue working for the good of your family?
Don’t buy the hype.
I remember back in the mid-late 90’s when the thing on the internet was to have your own website. It didn’t matter what it was about but it kind of had to have an over riding theme to be acceptable. Geocities was the place to go for this (which has been down for almost ten years). You had a whole 10mb for free you could use for your website. You had to know HTML and spend some real time to build a website; and in the end it was lousy compared to today’s standards. So much has changed since then. Now it has never been easier to to have a website with w=things like wordpress. WordPress is little more than a web-based text editor and you can add plug ins to do special things you want. I’m not sure if people have become dumber or if stupid people are now on the internet but few people today have any kind on independent site. They are content with sharing text based images on facebook express someone’s ideas as their own. Even in the old days plagiarism was better. I miss those old style websites. Clean designs with the intent of sharing information; now it is all videos and marketing for get rich schemes.
Your weekly money should be broken down like this to be financially responsible:
Food 10% $50 max per person
Car Expenses (insurance, maintenance) 10%
Long Term Savings 20% (pay off high interest debt first with this money)
Pocket Money 20%
We used to have a dog and like most his farts were horrible. When he farted he would get yelled at; not punished but a “Damn dog you stink” kind of yell. Well the dog eventually learned that when he farted he had to leave the room before he was scolded. It would be funny to watch my father be the first to smell it and look for the dog to insult all for him to be already gone. So he learned to fart in a room and then slink off for others to enjoy. That was the last trick he learned.
Working at a tenet fit out in a retail plaza offers and interesting view at the people in the area. You get both those with some money who buy and those with less who work there. The plaza is mostly chain style restaurants and all of their employees including the managers has such a low skill level it is astounding. Things as simple as bringing the trash bags to the dumpsters is difficult with them dragging the grease covered bags leaving a trail of garage and grease like a snail. As excepted, they do not clean up the mess they make. They also are always on their cell phones when they take the trash out; not talking just wasting time on the intawebz. Another favorite of mine is the disposal of the grease from the fryolators. One pouring it into the grease contain is difficult for them maybe because there is a lack of hand eye coordination or maybe because of lack of strength in lifting something heavy over your waist. In either case the dumpster pads are covered in grease. It gets better though, when the grease containers are full the idiots pour the grease into the retention pond or over the block wall into the vegetation buffer to the wetland and creek. Both leaves black streaks of oily death in the vegetation and a nice coat of grease on the area that is supposed to absorb water.
Now these same people I have seen working at the various fast food restaurants over the years. You would think that over time these people would work harder or pay more attention to get out of the same low pay grind that they are in. Well it looks like they attempt too. In the plaza there is a new restaurant that is opening up that’ a sit down Italian style place. I was speaking with the owner and he said when they advertised for help ALL of the employees from the surrounding restaurants in the plaza applied for the jobs, including the managers. Most if not all of them do not of the social skills to be on the wait staff there maybe some could work in the kitchen but I wonder if all of their problems stem from them jumping from thing to thing hoping that the new will solve their problems. All the hope is on some one else paying them more for their skill set and there is no working on increasing your skills.
oh and after seeing how they work and clean you won’t eat out at chain restaurants again.
Writing is harder than you expect.especially when you have not done it for years. The last time a wrote anything of length was in college. It was a final paper for a business ethics class that had to be about 20 pages long. That was over tens years ago now! The professor of that class ended up getting arrested or sued for mortgage fraud or something similar. It was an entertaining class. Maybe it was the most honest as well. It was a new requirement to “teach” students that business needs to work not in there best interest; to spend money on feel good things. He said in the beginning there is no such thing as business ethics. It is all making a profit or not. He’s right and in hind sight I can now see the slow stead creep of progressive ideology into the business school through these classes. There were some professors who were obvious in their political agendas. One in particular would give almost all students A’s in order to reach as many students as possible. So you had a choice as a student, choses the professor who would likely give you an A and boost your GPA or choose the hard one were you might actually learn. Most of us chose the path of least resistance.